the "Me" out of me

If anyone still knows where this blog is, it will be a miracle. I know I tend to disappear from the scene for long periods of time, but that will probably just be part of my blogging life cycle. We've covered this before: I haven't found my "thing," anything to stick with. I enjoy picking things up, then letting them go. So it is with blogging.

Part of my problem has been pregnancy. Something about growing a human sucks some of the "me" out of me. If you've ever been sick enough to put you out of commission for awhile, you might know what I mean. There have been a few times in my life where I have been so sick that I just don't have the energy to leave the house...and definitely don't have the drive to do anything. Even in those moments, you can start to feel stir crazy - wanting to do something, but not able to muster up the drive to do anything. I have felt that way for the past few weeks. For awhile there, I did well to lie in bed and read...at least I was doing something. But I haven't even been doing that lately.

Today I didn't go to work because I woke up feeling pretty awful. In order to sleep last night, I took a full dose of phenergan, which I should never do. I might as well have a hangover the next day. Unfortunately, that meant more lying around. I never got up the gumption to do anything but watch 3 episodes of Mad Men before I fell asleep.

This is not meant to be a "Look at how lazy and sorry I am as a pregnant person" post, but to express my own wonder at the changes pregnancy can have on a person! Before, I really never sat down while I was home. In fact, I contemplated cancelling our DVR because we hardly ever even enter the TV room. Today, I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and order another one for the bedroom (what shame!).
I never did anything that ground breaking. I did drool over other clever blogger's creative use of their free time (who knew how crafty American moms were before they busted out into the blogosphere!), but I mostly just cleaned...and I enjoyed it. Not that you could really tell if you stopped by unannounced, but it took my full time away from work just to keep up. You can only imagine what our world looks like now.

Anyway, on the up side, the nausea IS fading. I have celebrated with a few meals (Hello Lobsterfest), but mostly I can't eat normally yet. I will eat two bites of a glorious steak and feel completely stuffed...I think it's just part of the haywire digestion of pregnancy. But I can feel it fading and I will be celebrating.  I'm keeping fingers crossed that this blah and fatigue really does fade in the next few weeks as well. Maybe I can hang out with "me" for a little while longer before the real challenge sets in as D day comes closer. Until then, you probably won't see any new knitted baby sweaters or hand-carved baby furniture gracing my blog screen, but you just might see a few book reviews...or something.

And now...for some grammar. While I was writing this, I decided to settle my problem with "lay, lie, lain, lying" once and for all...only to re-visit why I have such problems. It is the most confusing of all of the grammar rules to me. Unfortunately, I can't just let it go - I notice when you use "there, their, they're" wrong and I notice when you don't use "me and I" correctly. After looking it up, I decided there is no choice but to look it up every time I want to use it right...At least I can remind you of the present tense use of the word:

Use "Lay" when you are speaking of an OBJECT that someone is going to DO something with
Lay the book down.
You need to lay the pencil on your paper.
Lay the baby down so you can eat.

Use "Lie" when you are speaking of a person putting themself in that position.
Mary is going to lie down.
You need to lie down.
The baby needs to lie down.

...generally speaking.

If you need to use it in another tense, look it up...ha!

About Ella, at 19 months

*LOVES to draw...on her doodle boards, with crayons on paper, and now with her new "water pens"

*Counts to 7 (so cute!)

*Can tell you her name when asked (so cute!)

*LOVES her babies more than anything in the world

*Loves to sing the barney song and puckers up for "kiss from me to you" and gives big hugs for "with a great big hug"

*perfectly sings "e i e i o" at the right spots in "Old MacDonald"

*Obsessed with farms, farm animals, and Old MacDonald

*Learns tons of new words every day

*Loves green beans and noodles ("noonies")

*Still loves Baby Einstein movies

-There's tons more but those are the highlights for now!

Randomness

Kevin and I were watching "Yo Gabba Gabba" with Ella the other day...a super weird, awesome kid's show on nick jr. If you have never watched it, please do. It is so weird...and really funny. Anyway, we're sitting there trying to guess which drug the writer was on when he wrote this music video where the world is smiling and floating all through the clouds...It's a song called "Love every living thing." It has random videos of people doing things and ferrets playing with cartoon hearts drawn all over the people, petting them. Suddenly, the video shows a clip of a firefighter washing a truck. On the front, the truck says "ORFD" and I say "What other department would that be?" At the same time, Kevin says, "That looks just like ---- from work!" Sure enough, it was a clip from Kevin's own workplace, of the truck he drives. He called the guy and confirmed it all. haha. We are so proud.

In other news, I am pregnant and reminded every minute of every day! With my expanding waistline (already!) despite a 12 pound weight loss this month, there is no doubting it. I often take two baths a day and I promise I never eat dinner in the bath...and dinner is never Wendys. Water makes me very sick, which is a problem really. I wake up at night with cotton mouth, forcing me to run to the water, which then has me running to the toilet. Other than the nausea and vomiting, I just have waves of overwhelming fatigue, where I can do nothing but sleep. Thank goodness I have a wonderful family that loves Ella Rose, because I would be an interesting mother right now if I didn't! They help make up for my current laziness. I don't have particular cravings right now...I just eat literally anything that sounds decent...even drive through trash...it is calories at least! I will get back to healthy when I can keep it in, I promise. Yes, I am happy to be pregnant. Never do I ever come close to thinking it isn't worth it, but it doesn't change the frustrations of trying to go on with normal life and responsibilities with the never-ending stomach flu! Here's to babies!!